Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The Top 10 Reason Why People Don't Get What They Really Want

Last weeks discussion we talked about about "The Top 10 Reasons Why People Don't Have What They Really Want". I thought you might like to take a look at what we talked about.

1. They focus on what they don't want vs. what they do want.

2. They've never really stopped to ask themselves "What do I really want?"

3. They don't feel safe enough to tell the truth about what they really want. There is a major fear of consequence if they told the truth.

4. What they want is really a should, could, or ought to. In other words it's probably someone else's want and not genuinely yours.

5. Missing key life skills which means most of their time energy and resources are going towards putting out fire vs making any really progress towards their desired outcomes.

6. Missing appropriate language and communication skills in order to get what they want.

7. Lack of personal awareness often leaving one clueless as to why they are not getting what they want.

8. Too comfortable, no sense of urgency to get going, unwilling to change, grow or develop.

9. Wants to be right about something rather then get what they want.

10. Still being ruled by ones past which means poor ability to be with the present. Mantra is "I don't know what I want" and often falls victim to the wants of others, life and circumstance.


11. Won't ask for help.


1. Self-Reflect on the inquiry of "what do I really want?" This is not a mere question to be answered but an inquiry. An inquiry is dynamic and may change from moment to moment. Your ability to stay open to the truth of what you really want is a skill worth learning and will act as an internal self-correcting navigational system that leads you towards living your life authentically from your true-self.

2. Ask three people if it would be OK if you ask them something. Once you get their permission, give them the following instructions "tell me what they really want" and then watch what happens. Help them stay with it by prompting them with "what else?" see if you can get them to go 4-5 layers deep as you press for the deeper truth of what they really want.

PS. We will be meeting again this Thursday at 7:00 p.m. and I hope you will consider joining us.

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